That person screaming? That's me.

Cover your ears, because I feel a major cuss rant coming on at 4:30 pm today. As soon as leave work and get in my car, it will be on!

My car is my own personal cussing sanctuary, and I find it very therapeutic. Cussing and ranting works as a non-violent form of stress relief, since I promised myself I would not kill my coworkers....again. Which is why I left my last job. Okay, the police made me leave.

Anyway, I get in my car all by myself, shut the door, and let out a stream of vulgarities that would make a trucker blush. Then, by the time I reach preschool to pick up my kids, I take a deep breath and viola!...I've managed to shake off a significant amount of stress.

It also helps to crank up the volume on a favorite fast-paced rock, punk, or dance tune, sing along at top volume, and let off even more steam.

Try it. It totally works.

I LOVE my new layout!

Just thought you should know.

Someone must be seeing it...

Madea Goes To Jail was #1 at the box office this weekend. It made $41 Meeeelllion dollars. Wow. Just....wow.

I've paid to see some pretty craptastic movies in my day, but in my defense, I usually didn't know they were going to be bad. Okay....so yeah, I knew Twilight was going to be bad, and I may or may not have seen it on opening night and then may or may not have seen it a second time. But it the bad-ness of it is what made it fun. Perhaps that is exactly what Madea's charm is...you know it's going to be bad, but its a fun enough ride that you don't mind plunking down your $10.50 to see it?

Anyone?...anyone?....Bueller?

Just Curious

I realize I'm white, and therefore, not black, but I'm just curious...does the black community actually see the Madea movies?

Hi, my name is Kris, and I am a Chai-aholic.

It all started when my husband's carpool kept stopping at Starbucks in the morning. At first, he didn't have any trouble abstaining from buying anything. Coffee is yucky/taboo, and he would usually sleep during the commute anyway. But then he discovered apple chai infusion. He raved about it and told me I should try it, so I took a sip.

I should have known better than to eat the forbidden fruit...

OMG! It is so good! Its like super spicy hot apple cider. Spicy enough to actually burn my mouth a little bit. I shared his drink with him and that was it. I was strong enough not to know that I could stop anytime I wanted to. And I did. I never actually went to a Starbucks to buy one myself, and I was fine with it.

But now he's discovered how to make them at home, cutting out the dealer, and now I've become addicted. Its right there, available, all the time. I think about it all day and can't wait to get home and have my fix. I can't stop. I need help.

I'm not condoning it in any way, but if you're curious... you mix equal parts of bottled apple cider and Tazo Chai Latte concentrate and heat. But I'm warning you, its highly addictive.

Confession: I am a Cougar

I slightly want to see the Jonas Brothers In Concert movie. I've openly confessed my love of boy bands before, and I've even confessed my completely inappropriate old-lady crush on these adorable little boys with dark, curly hair. Its not that I have some gross sexual obsession or anything. Yuck. They're just boys that remind me what it was like to be 15, listening to NKOTB, giggling, and posting pictures from BOP up on my locker. So what if their voices still crack when they sing? So what if the middle one looks like his eyebrows were drawn on with a sharpie? They were great in those skits on SNL this week and their musical performances were...fairly decent...and still better than Ashlee Simpson, right? I can still buy their albums, crank them at top volume, and sing my disturbed little heart out in the car. My problem is that I want to see the movie, but not enough to actually, you know, buy a ticket, and be caught dead in the theater. That would be far too humiliating...but I wish I had a young niece that wanted to go, and with whom I could totally earn "cool aunt" points by taking her to the movie. So if any of you have a young daughter who wants to see this movie, but the thought of sitting through 90 minutes of boy band squealing makes you want to puke, give me a call...I'm free this weekend.

This is not fat

I repeat...THIS IS NOT FAT! Notice the flat stomach? Notice the small hips and waist?

Yes, there is some unfortunate fashion taking place here, but a bad wardrobe does not make her fat.

But I guess anything above scary anorexic, skeletor, imminent death, consumes more than a tic tac & cigarette per day, scrawny veiny muscle arms, equals grossly overweight and subject to public and media mocking. Shame on you, media!

But for the love of spanx, Jessica...I absolutely cannot defend you if you continue to make this face.

Because it makes me want to kick you in the teeth. Any self respecting grown woman would never make the baby pouty face. Even Tony Romo hates it.