Dear Abby, You Crack Me Up

Here is today's Dear Abby entry:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently watched a comedy that featured men cross-dressing. Ever since, I have had a burning desire to have my husband wear sexy lingerie and makeup.
There is nothing effeminate about him, but I can't get this out of my head. I bought him a lacy bra and panty set, garter belt and stockings, but I haven't had the nerve to ask him to wear them. Am I crazy? Should I try to forget this? -- BURNING DESIRE IN NAHANT, MASS.

DEAR BURNING: Human sexuality is complicated. There are many women who help their husbands cross-dress, however it is my understanding that the initiator is usually the man. I don't think you are crazy, nor do I think you should "forget" something that you describe as a "burning desire." What I do think you should do is have a frank discussion with your husband and find out how open-minded he is on the subject.

Sometimes I really wish I knew the people that write in to Dear Abby. Usually, I just want to smack them upside the head. In this case, it just cracks me up. Writing to Dear Abby (the symbol for old-fashioned, clutch your pearls, you-kids-get-off-my-lawn kind of thinking) for cross dressing advice? Well my stars, I do declare! Will wonders never cease?

Still...I think he's in for a shock. Something tells me that would be a really funny conversation to be a fly on the wall and watch. I have no idea who this couple is, but I really hope she writes back.

They're re-making The Outsiders?

So, which one is playing Pony-Boy, and which one is playing Johnny? I wonder if I will cry when Johnny dies after heroically saving those people in the fire. Who will they get to play the soces? The cast of Gossip Girl?

Seriously, could they be more greased and "tough"? Leather pants? Tight white tee with the sleeves rolled up? I admit...I like the JoBros. I even think they're kind of adorable. But they are boys. Practically babies. The whole "Boys To Men" caption makes me giggle.

So why is someone trying to sex up this little boy with the oil and the Burt Reynolds, circa 1975, pose? Gross.

And while I'm ranting, how come this photo is okay, but the one of Miley Cyrus looking hideous with part of her back showing is considered so risque and inappropriate? THEY ARE THE SAME AGE!

The Proposal

Was very cute and very funny. I saw it with a group - 3 girls/2 guys, and all of us loved it and said that we would each want to buy it on DVD. As we were leaving the theater, I heard many people commenting on how it was better than they expected.

There was only one shirtless scene, which wasn't enough, but it will have to do until I can get my hands on the EW magazine. Is it not officially on newsstands yet? Because the two stores I was at this weekend didn't have it.

Hiii-Yohhh!

azdlksff sdfkjtneoutr krjth bmerot woery!

(non-sensical gibberish typing while I recover from my apparent stroke)

I'm seeing him in The Proposal on Friday. If there is any justice in the world, he will be (un)dressed like that for 90% of it.

Great-googly-moogly....Those abs!

Ryan Reynolds, I love you. Call me!

Scarlett Johanssen...I hate you.

Call me by my rap name, Rhyme-nocerous

Thanks Nikol! I love Flight of the Conchords!

I'm only halfway through season 1, meaning, I only had disc 1 from Netflix. So far, my fave episode is the mugging. Murray is especially funny in that one too....when they make a missing persons report at the police station, and the cop asks if he talks like a robot...and Murray says "yeah, that's his New Zealand accent". Hilarious!

So many throwaway little jokes. I want to be the Rhyme-nocerous and you can be the HipHop-potamus. Okay?

The Many Uses of Toilet Seat Liners

The air conditioning in my office building has been broken for three days. Even though it is a very mild 70 degrees outside, it is broiling in the office. Something about body heat and computer equipment making it hotter. I couldn't really hear the rest because my ears had melted off. As an added bonus, by the end of the day, my feet turn into giant, swollen, ham hocks, with that nice, sweaty ham smell. Who doesn't love that?

A coworker and I start discussing the gloriousness of casual Fridays when the office is so hot because we can get away with flip-flops. We move on to discussing the need for facial blotting papers, and she remarks on how toilet seat liners work great as blotting paper. Did you know this? It was news to me.

We agreed to show up to our noon meeting wearing an entire toilet sheet stuck to our foreheads with the flap open so we can see.

Further proof that Gwyneth is a douche

From the latest edition of GOOP (Gwyneth Paltrow's newsletter/blog):

The summer before last, a mutual friend brought the lovely Katie Lee Joel and her husband William over for dinner. Much to my delight, she brought a fresh batch of these cookies with her. ...(recipe follows)

William? WILLIAM!?

You mean, Billy. Effing. Joel?

The guy that the whole world refers to as Billy Joel, and you call him William?

Oh, Gwyneth. Perhaps I should send you a batch of those cookies with a lovely note on hand embossed linen stationery from Crete, with a personal invitation in handwritten calligraphy,

to go eff yourself.