Not You Too, Abby!?

DEAR ABBY: My problem is I attract needy people. I don't have a problem setting boundaries. However, those boundaries are frequently crossed because the person is so self-absorbed that he/she "can't hear" me.
How does one draw the line with a complete stranger who wants to tell me her whole life story the first time we meet, and sucks away my energy and my time? I feel like the individual isn't even talking to me. She might as well be talking to herself or to a wall for all I care.

Abby, I do not want to continue being taken hostage by these kinds of people. I'm not interested in their lives or troubles. I have enough of my own. I don't want to be unkind, but I haven't found a way to protect myself from being forced to invest time in needy acquaintances with whom I do not wish to pursue a relationship. I am not a total (rhymes with witch), but I am definitely ... BAFFLED IN VERO BEACH, FLA.

DEAR BAFFLED: If I understand your description correctly, the type of person you describe is a "sapper." These are individuals who talk until they completely drain the energy from their "victim" -- not unlike vampires in Stephenie Meyer's novels.

An effective way to deal with a sapper is to stop the conversation. Explain that he or she has caught you at a time or place when it's inconvenient to talk, or tell the person you do not feel qualified to deal with their situation and refer them to a doctor, lawyer or therapist. Then walk away or end the phone call -- depending upon how they have "attached" themselves to you.

DEAR ABBY: Your analogy bothers me. Using Stephenie Meyer books to dole out your crappy advice? Does this mean you're a Twilight fan? Or did you get paid for that little plug? Either way, consider me....BARFING IN SAN DIEGO.