Dear Mysterious Buzzing Sound Outside My Office,

What ARE you?  You sound like a cell phone in the wall on perpetual vibrate.  Or a "back massager" or "electric ear cleaner"....if you know what I'm talking about (wink wink).  Either way, please stop.  Please?  I may be forced to take a mental health day tomorrow if you don't knock it the eff off.  Cause I'm going crazy.  My coworkers are going crazy.  And if one more person comes in my office to ask me what that noise is....I will lose my chizz.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT NOISE IS!

I'm totally starting to get how torturing prisoners with loud noises works.

Oh wait!  You stopped! Yay!

Nope.  Nevermind.  You started again.  FML

That cranky, psycho chick in the office next to you,
Kris

Dear Adele,

Rumour has it, I love someone like you. I'll be waiting to hear another lovesong.

Your one and only,
Kris

I've Got a Crush On You, Cutie Pie

It has been a while since I've done any posts about my latest crushes.  No worries though, I'm making up for that by bringing you TWO crushes!

First, I bring you Blake Shelton.  Did I know who Blake Shelton was before watching The Voice?  No.  Does that matter?  No. 

Blake's a cutie.  He's tall, he has dimples, he's FUNNY, he has a little bit of grey in his hair (yes, I'm old and I kinda like dudes with some grey now), and he's country, which means he knows how to wear a pair of levis.  Yowza. 



My second crush is Zooey Deschanel.  Have you seen the commercials for her new tv show, New Girl?  A-DORABLE.  She's pretty much the cutest thing since that sneezing baby panda.  I will totally be watching her show.

Bargain Beauty Rave

I have been meaning to rave about this thing on here for weeks. 

If you have ever wanted to try a clarisonic skin cleansing brush tool (the kind Oprah raves about), but can't afford it, you should try this.

It's only FIVE BUCKS!

It's called the Sephora Collection Precision Pore Cleansing Pad
It's small, portable, and because it's silicone, it's more sanitary than facial cleansing brushes or sponges.  It even has a suction cup on the back for sticking it to your shower wall.  The little bristles are soft but still feel like they do a good job of scrubbing out my pores. 

I actually own a clarisonic mia, and I love it.  But I don't travel with it, it stays exclusively in my shower.  I tend wash my face in a separate bathroom in the mornings, so I have this little scrubbie pad stored away in the medicine cabinet with my giant bottle of philosophy Purity cleanser. 

I brought this little guy on my little Beauty Bash trip with my mom and friend (Hi Michelle!), and I stuck him on the bathroom mirror so that they could all try him out and they loved him too.

For $5 you seriously can't go wrong.

Deep Thoughts

I just realized something.....

I work in HR and my main responsibility is hiring.  So I conduct a lot of interviews and make hiring recommendations.  When you think about it....I get paid to judge people.

I'm living the dream, people.

iCarly: Moonlight Twi-Blood

Starring Fredward Cullen

Ok you guys. I've already admitted to watching and liking iCarly. And I know how crazy it sounds. I do. I know you're judging me. I get it. But just do me a favor....watch this video. Come on, it's funny.
You know you want to.

Disgusting Dog Treats

I have a dog named Jelly.  Jelly was a pound puppy, likely a black lab/doberman mix, that we happily rescued from a shelter.  Before my kids were born, Jelly was completely spoiled with treats, love and attention.  We took her for walks, went to the dog park, bought her special toys and treats, and petted her constantly.  When the twins were born two years later, we didn't have time to shower, much less take Jelly to the dog park.  I wasn't too keen on petting a dirty dog and then touching my babies either.  So poor Jelly didn't get much attention.  She had food, water, a warm, cushy bed to sleep on, but virtually no attention.

The kids are six now, and they give Jelly plenty of attention.  They pet her and play with her all the time.  They provide the attention, I provide the treats.  It's a nice balance.

A couple of months ago, I reluctantly bought a big bag of pig ears for Jelly at Costco.  I was hesitant, because the thought of feeding dried pig ears to anyone is pretty gross.  Even a dog.  I had no idea how much she would LOVE them.  She would get all excited and crunch them like potato chips.  When the pig ears were all gone, I went back to Costco to buy more.  But Costco didn't have them anymore.  They had bully sticks instead.  So I bought those.

I naively thought they were just skinny rawhide sticks.  Until someone told me to google the ingredients.  Huh.  That explains the smell.  I went home and looked at the ingredients list on the package, just to be sure.

It said "Bull Pizzle".  Fo shizzle my nizzles.

Somehow pig ears just don't seem as gross now.