Dear Mysterious Buzzing Sound Outside My Office,

What ARE you?  You sound like a cell phone in the wall on perpetual vibrate.  Or a "back massager" or "electric ear cleaner"....if you know what I'm talking about (wink wink).  Either way, please stop.  Please?  I may be forced to take a mental health day tomorrow if you don't knock it the eff off.  Cause I'm going crazy.  My coworkers are going crazy.  And if one more person comes in my office to ask me what that noise is....I will lose my chizz.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT NOISE IS!

I'm totally starting to get how torturing prisoners with loud noises works.

Oh wait!  You stopped! Yay!

Nope.  Nevermind.  You started again.  FML

That cranky, psycho chick in the office next to you,
Kris

Dear Adele,

Rumour has it, I love someone like you. I'll be waiting to hear another lovesong.

Your one and only,
Kris