Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Family: Another Name For Dysfunction

I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving. Do you all have crazy family stories to share? If so, don't keep that crazy all bottled up for yourself! Misery loves company! Let's share in the torture, shall we? Here's a brief little exchange I had with my in-laws this weekend.

I was explaining to the in-laws that we wouldn't be in town for Christmas this year because we are going to visit my 89 year-old grandma in Minnesota who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. I explained that she's never seen our twins and that this might be our last chance. Then my sister-in-law piped in with this gem of a response...

SIL: Breast cancer wouldn't slow MY grandma down.
Me: (Brows furrowed. Not wanting to make a scene) Well, the doctors aren't going to give her radiation or chemo because of her age.
SIL: Really? My grandma was 85 and they gave her chemo.
Me: (Teeth clenched) Well, perhaps the circumstances were different.
Brother-in-law pipes in: (trying to back-pedal for his wife that obviously stuck her foot in her obnoxious, insensitive mouth) Yeah, you don't know if maybe she has a different type of tumor or if she has any other health issues.

You know, it's a real mystery why I am not close with my sister-in-law.

Also, I am now suspicious that my sister-in-law is actually a Schrute. Aren't they immune to disease? After all, disease is only for the weak, right? Guess who's getting beets for Christmas?!


Kristina P. said...

Ummm, a stuffy nose slows me down. Give me a break.

The Boob Nazi said...

I think I would've popped her in the effing nose.

The Boob Nazi said...

I once had an "argument" with a coworker of mine about whose relative had the worst cancer. She was a one-upper. Seriously. I won, of course. Brain tumor beats out leg cancer anynday. I can't believe she even tried.

peewee said...

I think an AWESOME thing to do would be to announce "sister-in-law-wars" and we could ALL blog about our SIL's in one day and there could be a winner (for sure ME) for who has the worst one. (Again, I got htis in the bag) You'd prob be my biggest competition. And hey! WHo knows? maybe Bravo will pick it up for next season :)

Karen said...

Weird. I could have sworn I posted a comment on this.

My sister-in-law is awesome, so I can't really relate, but wow. I wouldn't have been able to be nice about that. I would have had to say something about how horrible and rude that was.

Guess it's a good thing my sister-in-law is nice!

ukyankoz said...

I'm with peewee - let's have a Worst Sister-In-Law contest! I've got some great stories!

(Yours needs a filter, seriously. She also needs beets for Christmas.)

NIKOL said...

Hey, didn't I comment on this post? I thought I did.

I can't believe she was so nasty. It takes a very special kind of biznatch to turn relatives with cancer into a competition.

Counselormama said...

I love to read stories about family dysfuntion! and you are right, she does sound like a Schrute! lol!