iCarly: Moonlight Twi-Blood

Starring Fredward Cullen

Ok you guys. I've already admitted to watching and liking iCarly. And I know how crazy it sounds. I do. I know you're judging me. I get it. But just do me a favor....watch this video. Come on, it's funny.
You know you want to.

Disgusting Dog Treats

I have a dog named Jelly.  Jelly was a pound puppy, likely a black lab/doberman mix, that we happily rescued from a shelter.  Before my kids were born, Jelly was completely spoiled with treats, love and attention.  We took her for walks, went to the dog park, bought her special toys and treats, and petted her constantly.  When the twins were born two years later, we didn't have time to shower, much less take Jelly to the dog park.  I wasn't too keen on petting a dirty dog and then touching my babies either.  So poor Jelly didn't get much attention.  She had food, water, a warm, cushy bed to sleep on, but virtually no attention.

The kids are six now, and they give Jelly plenty of attention.  They pet her and play with her all the time.  They provide the attention, I provide the treats.  It's a nice balance.

A couple of months ago, I reluctantly bought a big bag of pig ears for Jelly at Costco.  I was hesitant, because the thought of feeding dried pig ears to anyone is pretty gross.  Even a dog.  I had no idea how much she would LOVE them.  She would get all excited and crunch them like potato chips.  When the pig ears were all gone, I went back to Costco to buy more.  But Costco didn't have them anymore.  They had bully sticks instead.  So I bought those.

I naively thought they were just skinny rawhide sticks.  Until someone told me to google the ingredients.  Huh.  That explains the smell.  I went home and looked at the ingredients list on the package, just to be sure.

It said "Bull Pizzle".  Fo shizzle my nizzles.

Somehow pig ears just don't seem as gross now.

There Was An Old Lady...

I am at that age.

The age where body parts hurt for no reason.  And they hurt so bad that I can barely move.

Last Monday I woke up with back spasms.  I wish I could say that I had just climbed Mt Everest or beaten the Guiness World Record for Wii Just Dance 2.  Heck, it would have been nice to just say that I had gardened all day or lifted one of my kids and hurt it.  But I didn't do any of those things.  I just woke up with a random back injury.

I toughed it out at work on Monday even though I couldn't really work because I couldn't concentrate on anything besides how much my back was hurting.  The spasms would wrap around from my back to my stomach.  It felt like I was in labor.  Three days of back labor and no cute little baby to blame my stretch marks and saggy boobs on.

Gradually I got better and by Saturday I was feeling pretty good again.  I made my weekly trip to Costco where I foolishly lifted a case of water into my cart.

Big mistake.

I wonder how much Advil it takes before you get permanent liver damage...?