Breaking Yawn

I finally finished the final book in the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn. I had to force myself to finish it because it was overdue at the library by almost 3 weeks and I couldn't bear to be charged another $0.25/day. So I charged through and finished over the weekend.

It was so incredibly boring. And long.....750 pages of yawn.

The beginning held some promise. Edward & Bella get married and go on a honeymoon. The kind of honeymoon you wish you could read about if the author weren't such a boring prude. However, the honeymoon is cut short due to a partially undead bun in the oven. The baby grows rapidly and beats her to a pulp from the inside out. I'll spare you the details on the birth, only to tell you that it is disgusting and horrifying. It is exactly what I imagine the Saw movies to be like, and why I will never watch them. Anyway, Bella gives birth and dies in the process. To save her, Edward must get his vampire venom in her (this is not a sexual innuendo here) and keep her heart pumping long enough to start the transformation. What better way to do that than to jab a giant needle into her heart and inject the venom right there! She transforms into an immortal, blah blah blah. She's amazingly self-controlled for a vampire newborn, blah blah blah. Her baby, Renesmee, is adored by all, including the hot and brooding werewolf, Jacob. Blah blah blah.

Basically, the whole book was about how awesome Bella is. How beautiful, special, gifted, etc. I wish I could say I agreed, but Bella pretty much nauseates me. I had hoped that Leah, the werewolf chick, would kick Bella's teeth in and fall for Jacob, but that definitely didn't happen. It was all wrapped up in a nice, neat, happy ending.

All I have to look forward to now is the movie, opening Nov 21st! Chagrin!