Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Dear Mother Nature,

You are an evil beast.

First off, having a "cycle" every 23 days for several months is straight up cold and cruel.  I mean, what did I ever do to you?  Nothing.  But whatever, I got used to it.

So now you think it's funny to change things up a little?  Like I amuse you?  Like I'm a clown to you?  Do you see my face?  I. am. not. amused.

Seriously?  31 days?  Really?  REALLY?

Let me do the math for you, Mother Nature...that is 8 freaking days late.  EIGHT.  That's kind of a big deal for someone like me.  For normal people?...not a big deal.  But for me?  Huge.  Which of course, was the day after I bought the home pregnancy test.  It was, in fact, the morning I planned to use said test.  Nice one.  You really got me good.  Ha effing ha.  The cramps are a nice touch too, by the way.

I bet you and the Tampax people are laughing your asses off.

Not that I was trying to get pregnant.  But I wasn't exactly preventing it either.  You know, infertility issues and all?  I mean, there's still always a chance, so you had me wondering.

Still not amused,

P.S.  If this is in response to unknowingly letting my nephew fall off a 12-ft rock...well....I'll have you know that he was weird to begin with, so you can't blame that on me.


NIKOL said...

Mother Nature is indeed a cold, cruel mistress. So sorry.

Kristin has been bugging us to have another baby. She says she really wants a sister. And right about the time she started bugging us about it, I was inexplicably two weeks late after months of being like clockwork. It freaked me out. Also? Why are home pregnancy tests so expensive? It really adds up when you're taking one every couple days. It turned out to be nothing, and then I went back to being like clockwork again. Mother Nature just likes to keep you guessing.

Kristina P. said...

Oh, yikes!

It's funny because before I got on birth control, my period was super erratic. And when all these women were talking about how they were a day late, I thought they were insane. Now I know.

Anonymous said...

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peewee said...

wait. Are u preg or no>

Kris said...

Nope. Not preg. But at least if I ever do get pregnant again, I already have extra test kits....and maybe a name or two picked out, and a nursery theme. Maybe.

Regina Phalange if it's a girl. Sama-lama-ding-dong Chanandaler-bong if it's a boy. The nursery theme will be Twilight lots of sparkles.