Vampire Love

I am currently reading the final book in the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn. At the beginning of the book, our young lovers, Bella & Edward get married. See, Bella wants sex and to become a vampire. In that order. Edward wants to maintain their virtue and have a lifelong commitment to each other as a married couple. So they have an Anne of Green Gables theme wedding. Bella wears a victorian style dress and one of those old-style, poofy bun updos. We're supposed to think its because Edward was born in the Victorian Era. Those of us who are LDS, like the author, know that its conveniently written that way because for some reason, many LDS girls dream about looking like Anne Shirley on their wedding day. Seriously. I've never understood it, but its true. I know two girls who wanted Anne Shirley dresses and hair for their wedding.

Anyway, so Bella & Edward get married and go off on their honeymoon! A honeymoon! Finally, some hot and heavy action, right? WRONG! It was just like I expected - just as their hearts are pounding and they're reaching for each other, the chapter ends. The next page begins with them waking up in bed together the next morning.

I want to hit Stephenie Meyer across the head with a keyboard.