Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Just how dumb do you think I am, Will Smith?

During my lazy Memorial Day weekend, I finally got around to watching Seven Pounds, which Netflix sent to me, oh, about 6 weeks ago.
Let me just preface this by saying that Will Smith is adorable and I am pretty much on board with any movie he is in. Pretty much. That is, until now.
I sat through 2 hours of this dull and dreary movie that I had figured out after 10-20 minutes. I announced what I predicted was going to happen and complained that it was boring and my husband promised me that it would get a lot better. When? It still took the entire 2 hours to reveal the plot and the big (surprise!) twist. And throughout that entire 2 hours, Will Smith comes off as creepy and weird. I much prefer my Will Smith to be charming and adorable, thank you.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead!
So just how dumb do you think I am, Will Smith?....Death by jellyfish? Like I wasn't supposed to see that one coming when the character keeps a jellyfish in a tank and casually mentions that his father once told him that it was the deadliest creature on the planet? And I wasn't supposed to catch on that he is stalking the people that need heart, kidney, bone marrow, and eye transplants because he intends to commit suicide (via said jellyfish) and donate his organs to these goodly and deserving people? Like I was supposed to be surprised that blind Woody Harrelson would show up at the end, no longer blind, with (gasp!) brown eyes? Clue alert, Captain Obvious: We already figured out your surprise twist ending!
Por Favor, Will, go back to the big blockbuster summer movies that I love you in. Find a role where your charming and funny character overcomes tragedy by gaining super powers that save the planet from eminent destruction by challenging alien invaders to a boxing match where you are the underdog, but miraculously manage to deliver a massive TKO punch, thus uniting mankind and electing you President of Earth, becoming the richest and most powerful man on the planet....with a heart of gold. Directed by Steven Spielberg, Michael Bay, or M. Night Shayamalan.
Cause I might pay to see that.


peewee said...

HAHHA! Oh. I just LOVED that. I haven't seen the movie...but now I don't need to! I think maybe your account of it was probably more entertaining!

NIKOL said...

Someone spoiled the ending for me by explaining what the Seven Pounds were. But they left out the death by jellyfish part. That's awesome.

peewee said...

HAHAH. After I commented the Word Vdrification for the next comment (this one) was "menses" HAHA! WHo sits down and does these anyway? The next one will be "ovulation"

rychelle said...

i spent the first to hours of the movie thinking "what?!?"

Karen said...

I didn't see the movie, but just from the previews I guessed at the (surprise!) twist ending. Didn't know about the jellyfish, though. Now I'm REALLY glad I didn't bother!