Ode to M.A.C. by Kelly Kapoor

This lovely poem was included in my latest Dunder Mifflin, Scranton newsletter. It was written by my favorite customer service rep from The Office, Kelly Kapoor. We share a love for makeup, though I have honestly never tried anything by MAC. It may have something to do with the blaring music and the fact that the sales reps are usually heavily tattooed, pierced, and coated in blue eyeshadow. Though I do hear their lip gloss is fantastic!

When life totally blows and I'm in a dark place,
When nothing can lift my spirits - not even MySpace.
There's one place I can go for a positive encounter,
I grab my credit card and head to the MAC counter.

Dressed in black, your make-up artists embrace androgyny,
They too delight in my favorite science: cosmetology.
I sample your gloss, eye shadow, foundation and mascara,
I buy your products to look like Christina Aguilera.

MAC makes you look edgy and cool, gives you mystique,
It's way better than lame-o Covergirl, Revlon, or Clinique.
I love it more that Britney, General Hospital and Tyra.
Who knows, maybe I'll get a job at MAC after I retire-a.

MAC gives a girl that much-needed dose of glam that I admire,
With my face done, I feel like a celebrity in the pages of The Enquirer.
Sometimes I buy online and my makeup's delivered via FedEx,
There will always be special place in my heart for MAC cosmetics..