Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Dear Husband, You Are BUSTED!

Here's how my husband got in big trouble yesterday when he wasn't even around:

So he's gone on business for a week and I was picking up the kids after work. We had this conversation in the car on the way home...

Me: What do you want for dinner tonight?
Twin 1: I don't know, sweet cheeks!
Me: Sweet cheeks? Where'd you hear that?
Both twins: Daddy! He said it on the phone!
Me: To who? (fuming. Flames coming out of the side of my face.)
Both twins: To his friend.
Me: WHO?
Both twins: I don't know. A girl.

Since I know we don't use that expression with each other, I furiously calmly call my husband's cell. No answer. Then I text him, asking if he can explain why our children are calling me sweet cheeks and saying they heard him say it to his girlfriend on the phone.

When he calls back we have this conversation:

Me: Hello?
Husband: Sweetcheeksbananamuffinhottub
Me: What?
Husband: Sweet cheeks banana muffin hot tub.
Me: Huh?
Husband: You know, from the Jack in the Box commercials?
Me: Oh. Yeah, I guess.
Husband: Yeah, well that radio commercial came on in the car when I was driving the kids to preschool, and while I was on the phone with Aaron (male best friend since childhood - sounds just like Auntie Erin, female), I said it to him and the kids thought it was funny.
Me: Dude, you're so lucky.

Nice save, husband. Nice save. You may live to see another day.


Kristina P. said...

Throw a dish towel at him. That'll show him!

peewee said...

whoa. nice save! He needs to give me lessons!

Karen said...

Oh my. That is TOO funny! Kids are great, aren't they?

The Boob Nazi said...

How panicked were you, really? Just curious!

Kris said...

I didn't honestly think he was fooling around, but if you know my husband, you know that he has chronic foot-in-mouth disease. He's also a HUGE talker, is constantly on the phone, and knows like, half the city, so he frequently says things that mortify and embarrass me. So I was thinking this was probably another situation like that and had my speech about saying inappropriate things all prepared. But, it turned out to be even more benign than I anticipated.