Monday, March 2, 2009

America's Creepiest Idol

Adam Lambert, you creep me out. You made it in the top 12, so you're going to be around for at least one more performance. Let me just tell you what you're doing wrong right now, cause you're winning the award for America's Creepiest Idol which is tough to do considering that basket case Puerto Rican chick and the blind dude that awkwardly dances around with his cane (someone help him before he falls, for pete's sake!).

Adam, you say you're 26, but you look more like 42. Stop dying your hair and eyebrows pitch black. Are you using a Sharpie to color it, or what? I saw your parents in the audience and they both have light hair. You're not fooling anyone! Stop with the eyeliner and pancake makeup. It makes you look gross and old. When you combine the makeup with your rocker leather jacket and skinny jeans (skinny jeans! ew!), instead of making you look tough and rocker-y, you look mega-gay. Like Elton John gay. Like a dark haired Ellen Degeneres. I keep expecting you to turn around and have "T-Birds" written on the back of the jacket and start belting out Greased Lightning. I'm pretty sure this isn't the look you're going for, though, if it is, then my apologies and congratulations.

However, that screechy thing you do when you sing is just plain painful. So couldya at least cut that out?


Autumn said...

Adam Lambert, the other (more angsty) Jonas Brother.