Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Dear American Idol contestants

Dear Adam Lambert,

I called you Americas Creepiest Idol. That was a little premature on my part. I should have waited until all 3 groups had performed. Still not looking forward to the screeching, pancake makeup, and sharpie marker colored hair though.

Reserving judgement,


Dear Nathaniel Marshall,

Oh... sweetie. You seem very sensitive and artistic. Also, I'm just spit balling here, you hate your dad? He was probably mean to you as a kid, wasn't he? The kids at school weren't very kind either, huh? There, there sweetie...go ahead and just cry it out. Maybe work on resolving some of this anger and pain instead of using piercings and tattoos as a defense mechanism. Just saying. You're only 18 and at this rate, you're gonna run out of canvas space.

I applaud you for having the guts to be yourself and wear those sparkly headbands. That's a bold move. But you do kind of remind me of a cross between Olivia Newton-John in the "Physical" video (sparkly headband) and Celine Dion (arms flailing & pounding chest while singing).

I'm pretty sure you're not going to make it in the Top 12, but you definitely made for interesting viewing.

Concerned for your well-being,



Kristina P. said...

I sometimes feel like I am missing out on a lot of mocking by not watching AI.