My Fave Beauty Products

Since Nikol keeps planting the idea in my head of making all kinds of lists, I thought I'd start off easy and do my favorite beauty products. I lovelovelove beauty products, but I wouldn't necesarily recommend each and every thing I've tried. However, I can think of some that are just so completely awesome that you should really just trust me and try them out.



So here we go....

1. Loreal Double Extend "beauty tubes" Mascara - My fave used to be Philosophy's Supernatural Mascara that was a similar formula but has since been discontinued. There are some pricey brands that have the "tube" formula, but this cheaper version ($9.49) is just as good. Stays on all day, doesn't flake or smudge, and no raccoon eyes when you wash it off....just use warm water and "rub" it off. I don't bother with the white conditioning stuff (takes too long to dry) I just use the mascara by itself.



2. Bare Escentuals Foundation - swirl, tap, buff. Lightweight, non-cakey, lets your skin breathe, easy to apply, no line of demarkation. Downside: the little pot of powder can get messy and not very portable/travel friendly.







3. Philosophy Purity Cleanser - gentle (you can even rub it on your eyes, it doesn't hurt!), non-drying, good on all skin types, removes dirt & makeup like nobody's business. I also use it to clean my makeup brushes. QVC has it in this ginorm size, which I totally recommend for value. I pour some of it in a bottle for my shower and each bathroom sink.




4. Bye bye blemish - I can't tell you how many magazine articles I've read where Hollywood types recommend Mario Badescu's Drying Lotion as their fave beauty secret. This is exactly the same product for only $10 instead of like $30. Its not always easy to find though...I have yet to spot it at Target or Walmart, which aside from Costco, are like the only places I shop these days. Try Walgreens, Longs Drugs, CVS, etc. This little bottle has a pink paste at the bottom and a clear liquid on top. DO NOT SHAKE THE BOTTLE. Its supposed to separate like that. Before bed, just dip a q-tip all the way to the bottom and dab it on your monster zit and let it dry. You will look totally un-sexay with dried pink paste on your face, but when you wake up, your zit will be all dried up, and then you can thank me for your beautiful complexion.




5. Jonathan Silky Dirt Shine & Define Cream - I would love it if my hair were no-muss, no-fuss. I'm essentially retarded when it comes to hairstyling. Seriously. My version of no-fuss means just pulling it back in a ponytail. Unfortunately, I realized last year that I look hideous with my hair in a ponytail. I ain't gettin any younger, girls, and it shows! I'm forced to cut my hair just short enough so that it won't go in a ponytail, just to avoid the temptation. Therefore, I require styling products. But when you're styling retarded, its hard to find the right product. No one wants crunchy or goopy hair. Sprays were too stiff and waxes were too heavy. This is my happy medium. My straight, fine hair stays soft and even manages to hold the style.


6. Gold Bond Ultimate Lotion & baby oil - During Santa Ana and Winter seasons, my skin gets all dry and itchy. To fix it, I keep a cheap bottle of baby oil in my shower and slather it all over before toweling off. It's the ONLY thing that works for me. During the day, I put Gold Bond lotion on my hands. It soaks in and is long-lasting. I keep some at each sink.

7. Amazing Grace Perfume - fresh, feminine, clean. Doesn't give me an allergic reaction where my nose burns or make me feel like I'm choking. One of Oprah's faves too.

8. Avon Anew Clinical Eye Lift - gel on upper lid, cream on undereye area. Lifts saggy skin, smoothes lines, lightens undereye skin so you may not need concealer anymore. Sometimes Avon runs sales and you can get it for half price or less. See, it won awards and everything!

9. Olay Regenerist Microdermabrasion & Peel System - half the price of the Philosophy brand version, works just as good. Use once a week for great exfoliation. Your skin will be so soft! I keep it in the shower because I'm too lazy to stand at the sink & do it.

10. Lips! - okay, I basically love ALL lip products (gloss, lipstick, balm, etc). So picking out a favorite isn't very easy. Aside from the cheapie drug store brand stuff that we all find, my fave brands would probably be Burts Bees lip balm (mint & pomegranate), Philosophy lip shines (delish flavors), Bare Escentuals lip glosses any style (except the non-full color Buxom glosses, which are too sheer for my taste), or Smashbox lip gloss.

Team Puppets!

Twilight: The Puppet Saga

Was this inspired by Jason Segel's Dracula musical with puppets in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"? Eh, who cares? They're both hilarious.

"Forgetting Sarah Marshall" Dracula puppet musical scene

Attention

The person maintaining this blog is temporarily unavailable and mentally unstable due to holiday stress. Messages will be returned at a later date...when I damn well feel like it.

Napoleon Dynamite dance

This was on tv last night and I caught the last fifteen minutes which is the absolute best part because it includes the dance. I laughed so hard that cried....and then I snorted, really loud, which only made me laugh harder.

Beauty Bash info

So apparently not all my friends think I am completely lame for wanting to go to this thing. Apparently a few of you think this would be a good girl trip to plan for next year. Well, I can tell you that the info is available on QVC's site...all the way at the bottom left corner, click on "Come Visit Us". The cheapest package they offer is if 4 people share a room. It includes one night in a hotel & the admission to the beauty bash at $550, which is $137.50 per person. Now obviously it would also require airfare and probably at least one extra night in a hotel, maybe rental car too. But if you guys are serious about wanting to go, we can look for the info next year and make plans.

QVC Beauty Bash

Two of my favorite things have merged into one spectacular event. Beauty Products and QVC.

Apparently every Spring, QVC brings in all of its beauty product vendors into a kind of convention for its customers. The owners/reps for the beauty companies and the hosts all attend and staff the different booths. So you might see Leslie Blodgett (Bare Escentuals), Laura Geller, Nick Chavez, Dr. Denese, that super hot Ojon dude, or that lady that owns Philosophy. And anyone who has ever attended a convention knows its all about the freebies that you get from the booths. Free makeup & beauty products? Where do I sign up? Well here's the big kicker...they hand out FULL-SIZE products at the beauty bash!

Last year I caught wind of this event after it already occured. Someone who attended estimated that they got something like $1200 to maybe $2500 worth of free stuff. So this year I put it on my must do list! Nevermind the fact that QVC is located in Pennsylvania. Nevermind the fact that my friends are not insane enough to want to travel all the way there for some stupid beauty convention. Luckily, my mom is just as insane about beauty and QVC. When I told her about this last year, we decided that we needed to go together as an early Mother's Day present to ourselves. Yay for mother-daughter bonding over eye creams and lipstick!

QVC just released the information and we just booked our spot! We're going the first weekend in April and bringing an empty suitcase to bring all our goodies home in. We can't wait to tour the QVC studio and shop in their store. We hope to eat in a Cracker Barrell and see some historic sites, including Amish country.

Christmas Shopping Panic

I am in a virtual state of panic over Christmas shopping this year. I have never, ever been this far behind before. In fact, I used to have all my shopping done before Thanksgiving. Of course, this was before I had kids and had plenty of time and disposable income. Unfortunately, my days of disposable income are gone, and I won't even be able to afford to start my shopping for another week. This means I will be doing ALL my shopping the WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS! I think I may hyperventilate. Panic attacks feel like heart attacks, right? I'm too young for a heart attack, aren't I?

Shopping, decorating, baking, christmas cards, parties, photos, wrapping,......GAH!

Being the planner that I am, I already have a list of gifts that I intend to buy. So at least I won't be standing in the middle of the mall, confused and glassy-eyed, wondering where to go next.

Must resist...Twilight fever

OH. MAH. GOSH.....is this like the most adorable picture of Edward and Bella ever? I realize its probably photoshopped, but seriously? Don't you just love it? I do. They're both so....pretty. Sigh.

Paul Rudd is kind of awesome

Paul Rudd definitely fits my crush criteria by having dark, curly hair. He's gorgeous with his classic leading man good looks and his light green eyes. What sets him apart though, is that he is freaking hilarious. He also doesn't seem to mind making a fool of himself, and in fact, he does it in a completely adorable, endearing way. He's been in a ton of movies, making girls crush on him all the way back to Clueless.

An internet friend recommended I see I Could Never Be Your Woman, which I hadn't even really heard about. It was made in 2007, so it's not even that old, and it has an all-star cast. Michelle Pfeiffer is the main character and Paul Rudd plays her love interest. I totally recommend you rent it, but if you don't you should at least watch this dancing scene. Just try to watch it without smiling.



Another great scene, from Wet Hot American Summer (2001) is his dinner hall freak out scene. I'm not so sure I'd recommend this movie to everyone. It's a bit of a cult hit, but only to those with weird, quirky senses of humor.



I debated putting this photo on here, but it was too funny not to include. Admit it, you want him.

100 Things About Me

1. I love candy. LOVE it. It is my favorite food group.

2. I hate to cook, but I love to bake.

3. When I bake, I make a complete mess of the kitchen. Spoons and bowls everywhere, egg shells, flour, etc.

4. I am very picky about the way my laundry is done. It is the only household chore that I don’t mind doing. I prefer to do it myself.

5. I frequently dream that I am at overnight, co-ed, summer camp. Like the kind in the movies, though I never actually went in real life. They’re always good dreams.

6. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don’t use the right form of your and you’re.

7. I refuse to eat any kind of fish or seafood. I was forced to eat it as a kid, and even though I may like it now as an adult, I am too stubborn to give it a try. The thought of eating sushi? Oh my gosh….vomit

8. I fell so many times as kid from running in flip-flops that I quit wearing them until just a couple of years ago. I LOVE flip-flops now.

9. I am afraid of the dark.

10. I was born in Minneapolis, but we moved to Santee when I was three. At age ten we moved to Colorado Springs for about a year. We moved back and lived in Lakeside from the start of 6th grade on.

11. Our Santee house was right along side Santee Lakes. We would throw our bikes over the fence and spend all day playing around the lakes.

12. Every summer there would be a giant frog migration from the lakes and our street would be swarming with them. Most of them would die on the pavement and turn into crispy, flat, frog shaped Frisbees. All the kids in the neighborhood would fling them around. We made a game out of it.

13. One Christmas a duck migrated from the lakes to our pool and spent the whole day in our yard. I was really sad when it was gone the next day.

14. My first grade teacher and my fourth grade teacher were having a secret affair with each other. They were actually a very cute couple. I wonder if they ever got married.

15. My neighbor & I were 5 when we decided to play “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours”. I made him go first. After he showed me his, I ran away.

16. In Colorado Springs, my brother & I were the smartest kids in our entire schools. My school made a huge deal about it and put me in a special program for an hour every day. Once I realized that the kid that sat in front of me was sniffing glue in class, being the smartest didn’t seem like much of an achievement.

17. I was deathly afraid of both the basement and the attic in our Colorado Springs house. It was an old Victorian style complete with a coal chute and it freaked me the hell out.

18. My brother would unscrew the lightbulb and try to lock me in the basement. I would scream bloody murder. Basements in general are just freaky.

19. I stole candy and lip gloss from the drug store when I was in junior high. More than once.

20. I had to wear a gigantic retainer that was the size of my fist and made my cheeks look all puffy like a chipmunk.

21. I had reconstructive jaw surgery and a bone transplant from my hip when I was 15. It took almost all summer for the swelling to go down and for my face to look normal. I will always have a bunch of pins and screws in my jaws.

22. They scheduled the surgery when I was 15 because they thought at 5’5”, I was done growing. They did the growth plate scan of my hand and everything. I grew 4 more inches after that and my jaw shifted. The surgeon recommended I have another surgery. ARE YOU EFFING CRAZY?

23. I have severe TMJ and my jaw pops really bad. Changes in the weather will make my jaw ache. It makes me feel like an old man with a war wound.

24. When my mouth/jaw gets tired, I lisp. I HATE it and work very hard at not lisping.

25. My jaw disorder was so complex that my oral surgeon used me as a case study and published my photos and molds in a medical journal.

26. I still have lots of problems with my teeth and now I have a phobia about going to the dentist. I procrastinate, which only makes the problems worse.

27. I have nightmares about all my teeth falling out.

28. We never took any family vacations when I was a kid. Only camping trips. Very rustic camping trips. I don’t consider that a vacation.

29. After one of our camping trips to the Colorado River, I got a horrible ear infection. I was screaming in pain while the doctor scraped algae out of my ear. Algae. Growing in my ear. Gross!

30. I have always wanted to learn how to play the guitar, piano and saxophone. I own a guitar but haven’t taken the time to learn. I don’t even know how to tune it.

31. I fantasize about being a rock star.

32. I wish I could sing.

33. Not being able to carry a tune doesn’t stop me from singing all out when I’m alone. Neither does not being able to dance. I do both in the car and shower.

34. I sang karaoke once at a friend’s bachelorette party. I sang Baby Got Back and White Wedding. I rocked it.

35. I love boy bands. New Kids, NSync, Jonas Brothers, etc. Love em all.

36. My first concert was New Kids on the Block at Q106 Jam at SDSU Open Air Theater.

37. My friends and I all tried out for jv basketball our freshman year. My best friend and I had the least athletic ability and made the team. Our team wasn’t very good. Go figure.

38. After practicing and finally figuring out how to actually make a basket and do a lay-up, I quit the team when my best friend didn’t make it sophomore year. I didn’t miss it. I never liked playing basketball in the first place. I only did it because my best friend did too.

39. I got my nickname, Turtle, when a boy in high school watched our practice and saw that I was the slowest runner on the team. However, after running sprints for an hour, I would end up being the first one finished. Slow and steady wins the race.

40. Because my nickname was turtle, people assumed I collected turtles and started giving me all kinds of figurines and stuff. I actually don’t collect anything.

41. After high school graduation, I went on the Europe trip organized by the school. It was the trip of a lifetime, which I totally took for granted at the time.

42. Nikol and I were friends before, but we really bonded on that trip. I consider that the point when we became friends for life.

43. We both had a crush on the rebel, long-haired, rocker guy in the group. He rejected us both for the most square, type A, goody-goody girl in the group. They were quite the odd couple. What were their names again?

44. The day of our trip that we went to the topless beach, I wished I had the balls to go topless like the rest of the girls. When in Rome and Carpe Diem, right? When I remembered that I was going to have to spend the rest of trip with all the other teenage boys that were with our group, I was really glad I chose to keep my bathing suit on.

45. It takes me a long time to really open up and trust and become friends, but once I do, I am pretty much an open book and will tell you whatever you want to know.

46. My absolute closest friends are people I’ve known since junior high or high school.

47. I remember the exact moment when I realized I was in love with Eric. We had gotten in an argument and I left to go to a party at either Liz Robertson’s or Wayne Kelsch’s. I was talking to Laura (Hotchkiss) Gordon about the argument when it hit me.

48. I told Eric I loved him that night after the party. He proposed a month later over Sunday football and cinnamon rolls.

49. We were just “friends” at the time and weren’t even technically a couple.

50. We were totally a couple.

51. I thought I wanted to go to UCSD and get a science degree because I excelled at it. Senior year I took AP Biology and hated it. After that I didn’t know what to do.

52. I really regret not getting a degree period, but especially for not getting one in Spanish, which was something else I really excelled at. I used to think and dream in Spanish and translate conversations in my head while people were talking.

53. I will go back someday and finish my degree.

54. I want to be fluent in Spanish, Italian and French.

55. I can be very judgemental. I don’t like it, and I really make an effort not to be that way.

56. I love movies. If I had the time and money, I would see almost everything in the theater. Even the crappy stuff.

57. I’m not a popcorn eater, so I don’t do popcorn at the movies. I do candy and diet soda. I try to buy my candy and soda ahead of time and sneak it in. Don’t judge me!

58. On weekends we would spend with my dad, we spent all our time at the beach, Balboa Park, and the drive-in. Our entertainment was free or very cheap.

59. I saw a lot of movies that were wildly inappropriate for my age because the first movie at the drive-in would usually be kid friendly, but the second one wasn’t. For example, Porky’s came out when I was 8, Revenge of the Nerds when I was 10. Saw them both, and the sequels. Dirty!

60. I can sing the entire Lambda Lambda Lambda rap from Revenge of the Nerds. Seriously. From start to finish. Dare me to do it sometime.

61. My (ex) cousin and I used to watch Grease and Grease 2 and act it out. We would also stuff balloons in our shirts and sing Dolly Parton songs. I particularly love Hard Candy Christmas, Jolene, and Coat of Many Colors.

62. When I was trying to get pregnant and going through fertility treatments, I was a wreck. I was very angry and depressed. My sincere apologies to everyone I was a monster to. Thank you for being my friend and putting up with me.

63. I stopped counting how much weight I gained during my pregnancy when I hit 60 pounds. I’m pretty sure I gained close to 70 pounds total.

64. My pregnant belly was so big that I would constantly bump it into doorways and countertops. I barely fit in our shower stall. I felt like the Kool-Aid man crashing around.

65. I knew for sure that baby B, which was on my right hand side, was a girl. That was Emma Reese. It took us a while to find out for sure that baby A was also a girl.

66. When we found out, Eric kept me up until 1am deciding on the name Katelyn Paige.

67. I am grateful that my girls are fraternal twins and have different personalities so it is easier for them to have their own identity. I was worried that people would always lump them into one entity.

68. My astrological sign is Taurus, and like the bull that symbolizes it, I am very bull-headed.

69. When Eric & I got together, I looked up our compatibility in my mom’s old 70’s copy of Linda Goodman’s Love Signs. It said we would be a great match as long as I could be patient enough and keep him grounded enough to keep his head out of the clouds.

70. It also said that it wouldn’t take much to make me happy, that he would frequently make me angry but that I would mostly be able to blow it off. But when he pushes me to the point where I get REALLY angry, he should watch out and do whatever it takes to fix it.

71. Everything I remember reading in Love Signs has been true about our relationship. I really should look at that book again. Amazon.com, here I come…

72. I dated a guy when I was about 19 or 20, and everyone was surprised when they found out because they all thought he was gay. I think he was.

73. Back when Three’s Company was popular, people would hear my name was Krissy and say “Oh, like on Three’s Company!” It really bothered me that my name made people think of a dumb blonde, even when I was 5.

74. I love makeup and beauty products. It is my girly-girl obsession. I’m not that great at applying it, but I love to buy it. I have a hard time resisting new lipgloss. Maybe I do collect something after all…

75. On the way home from a youth trip to Family Fun Center, I couldn’t hold it anymore and peed in the back of a truck.

76. My parents wouldn’t let me get my driver’s license until I had a job, which meant I needed a job within walking distance. I worked at Kentucky Fried Chicken about half a mile from my house.

77. I had a blast working there because I worked with several friends from school. But teenage boys should not be allowed to prepare food for the public. It was disgusting. I still have a hard time eating anything from KFC.

78. I made out in the parking lot with one of my male co-workers one night. He gave me a hickey, which my Dad saw. Awkward! I lied and said it was a curling iron burn.

79. We went to prom together, but by then we weren’t interested in each other so he spent the night on the dance floor, sweating and grinding his giant boner on my friend that he had a crush on. Brad Hamilton & Amber Hobson forever!

80. He didn’t even attempt to hide his boner. It was pretty funny….and gross.

81. I got detention only once. It was during summer school for leaving the campus to get lunch at Burger King.

82. I didn’t even need to take summer school, but I took a class every year. I only did it to get out of the house. How nerdy is that?

83. When house-sitting for my Dad when I was 20, a guy broke into the bedroom I was sleeping in. I was totally fine, but it freaks me out to think of what could have happened.

84. For the longest time I was really afraid to be home alone at night. It’s still not my favorite. For this reason, I'm really glad I have a big dog.

85. I had to testify at his hearing. He was a mental patient that went off his meds. He had a white patch in his hair like the “I see dead people” kid in The Sixth Sense.

86. I totally believe in ghosts and that there are some people out there that can actually see dead people. I’m glad I’m not one of them. I find people like Sylvia Browne and the lady from The Medium absolutely fascinating.

87. I love movies about hauntings that are based on true stories. They really freak me out though.

88. I used to live a couple blocks from Heather O’Rourke, the girl from Poltergeist.

89. I do all my own stunts.

90. We had many burping contests when I was a kid. I remember one in particular when I was about 5 or 6 between me, my brother Joel, and one of his friends. We each drank a 16 oz (glass) bottle of coke before letting loose. No one could out burp little Krissy.

91. I learned to swim because my parents had friends over to our house for a pool party and their little girl could swim. She was the same age as me and I was jealous that she could swim in my pool and I couldn’t. Later that day, when the family left, I jumped into the deep end and just started swimming my heart out.

92. Several years later, I chipped my front tooth on the diving board when attempting a complicated maneuver. I would jump from the side of the pool, reach out to grab the diving board, and have my body swing underneath the board while I held on. I must have misjudged the distance and went face first into the board instead.

93. I have a serious weakness for boys with dark, curly hair. Hubba-hubba!

94. I never really got to know either of my grandfathers. They both died when I was young and we lived across the country from them. I wish I could have known them better.

95. Still, if I could meet any one person, alive or dead, I would probably choose Eric’s grand-dad. He and Eric were very close, and he died when Eric was 12.

96. I can’t tell you how many times I bled through my pants in high school. Or how embarrassing it was. I had the worst periods ever, and at that point, I wasn’t able to predict when it would happen. It was horrible.

97. I’m in my 30s, but I still break out in zits once a month.

98. I started getting migraines when I was about 21. It took me a while to realize they were caused by working in an office surrounded by smokers. It was illegal to smoke in an office by then, so I would call anonymously to report them all the time. The company kept getting fined, so eventually they forced the people to stop smoking indoors. My migraines stopped. I bet they knew it was me that reported them.

99. I used to daydream that Magnum P.I. was my dad. I lived in that awesome mansion in Hawaii, Higgins would cook for me, TC would fly me around in his helicopter, and I would ride around in Magnum’s Ferrari and help solve his cases

100. I have a very active imagination.

Just what am I looking at here?

Really. What is this? What the heck happened?

Before:

After:

Breaking Yawn

I finally finished the final book in the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn. I had to force myself to finish it because it was overdue at the library by almost 3 weeks and I couldn't bear to be charged another $0.25/day. So I charged through and finished over the weekend.

It was so incredibly boring. And long.....750 pages of yawn.

The beginning held some promise. Edward & Bella get married and go on a honeymoon. The kind of honeymoon you wish you could read about if the author weren't such a boring prude. However, the honeymoon is cut short due to a partially undead bun in the oven. The baby grows rapidly and beats her to a pulp from the inside out. I'll spare you the details on the birth, only to tell you that it is disgusting and horrifying. It is exactly what I imagine the Saw movies to be like, and why I will never watch them. Anyway, Bella gives birth and dies in the process. To save her, Edward must get his vampire venom in her (this is not a sexual innuendo here) and keep her heart pumping long enough to start the transformation. What better way to do that than to jab a giant needle into her heart and inject the venom right there! She transforms into an immortal, blah blah blah. She's amazingly self-controlled for a vampire newborn, blah blah blah. Her baby, Renesmee, is adored by all, including the hot and brooding werewolf, Jacob. Blah blah blah.

Basically, the whole book was about how awesome Bella is. How beautiful, special, gifted, etc. I wish I could say I agreed, but Bella pretty much nauseates me. I had hoped that Leah, the werewolf chick, would kick Bella's teeth in and fall for Jacob, but that definitely didn't happen. It was all wrapped up in a nice, neat, happy ending.

All I have to look forward to now is the movie, opening Nov 21st! Chagrin!

Zombies

In keeping with the scary Halloween spirit. I give you two terrifying zombie photos. Scary!

BRAINS!

Jason Mraz

Lately I've been really into Jason Mraz. That's his newest album up above. There are a bunch of really good songs on it, including one that sounds a little bit like Earth, Wind & Fire. To me anyway. It's such a fun song, and its called Butterfly. It's about...um...lady parts. So it's also a little bit dirty and sexy, but also upbeat and funky. I love it. I also love I'm Yours, which you've probably heard on the radio. It's all mellow and sweet and lazy sounding. I listen to both of those songs constantly.

Jason Mraz is actually coming to the SDSU Open Air Theater on Halloween, which I'm really bummed that I will be missing out on. If only he were playing on the Day of the Dead. I would totally be there. My brother saw him at The Casbah once, and even though my brother isn't really into Jason Mraz, he said he had the "voice of an angel". I don't know if I would go that far, but I'm still digging on his music a lot lately.

Sephora "Insiders" Code

I received an email from Sephora that they were offering $15 off a purchase of $35 or more through their website until 10/31/08 if you enter the code NUDAHRUY at checkout. Enjoy!

Santa Ana Skin

Santa Ana weather does a horrible number on my skin. Its dry, and it gets so itchy sometimes that it almost feels like creepy crawlies are all over me. It drives me absolutely insane. And I know this happens to me every year around this time. But do I prepare for it? Do I stock up on lotions and body butters? Eh....sometimes. Do I take the time to slather it on? No, I don't. Never. Yet I continue to be frustrated by the icky dry skin. It seems that the only thing I am capable of doing consistenly is putting on baby oil while in the shower. It takes way less time and works better than any lotion I have ever tried. Plus, its CHEAP. Like, $0.99 Store cheap. However, it makes a slippery mess in the shower, even when I am very careful not to spill. It also makes my towels and clothes harder to wash because of the film it leaves behind. But it's so worth it. I'm willing to do the extra cleaning work required if it means that I'm comfortable in my own skin.

Dear Abby

I started reading Dear Abby daily when I was going to school. I basically read it to see some of the crazy stuff going on in people's lives. Like, the guy who doesn't know what to do with his wife who is sleeping with his sister's husband. Really? You don't know what to do? Really?

Abby usually just recommends that the person get some counseling, which is always boring to read. Sometimes I don't even bother reading Abby's advice. And sometimes I don't agree with the advice that Abby gives, but I love the columns where readers get into a debate about what Abby said. The points of view are always so polarized to one end or the other. I kinda get the feeling that a lot of the readers are elderly. Grumpy, crotchety & elderly.

Badonkadonk

Is this picture for real, or has that been photoshopped? It has to be photoshopped, right? I mean, that's not.......real? Is it? I have no idea how long ago this picture was taken, but I just came across it and am like, whoa. That is serious badonkadonk. That is exactly what Sir Mix-A-Lot was singing about. You could use that thing as a nightstand!

Can't Hardly Wait

I can't resist this movie. It's one of my guilty pleasures. I will always tune in when I find it playing on tv. Apparently I've been watching this movie for 10 years as they have issued the 10th anniversary edition. 10 years? How is that possible? Man, I'm old.

There are so many great one liners, but my all time favorite comes from Kenny (Seth Green). I love Kenny. "92 percent, yo!"

I'm not a seafood fan

I don't like fish or seafood of any kind. I don't buy it at the store or order it at restaurants. It's just not my preference to eat fish or seafood. However, there are lots of people that love seafood and can't get enough of it. There are even restaurants dedicated specifically to serving that type of food. Even though seafood isn't my preference, do I condemn those who do prefer it? Absolutely not. I see no reason why we all can't live in harmony. I don't have anything against those who prefer seafood personally, and I don't really understand why anyone else would either.

Because I don't buy seafood, my kids are probably not really aware of its existence yet, but they will certainly learn about it as they grow up. Seafood is just a part of our society. I don't feel the need to shield my children's eyes as we pass by the seafood aisle at the grocery store or anything. If my kids grow up and love seafood, it won't change my relationship with them one bit. I'll still love them just the same. And if they grow up and meet a fellow seafood lover and want to get married, then I think they ought to be able to do that. Why should I try to prevent it? Why does it matter, as long as they are happy?

Pandora Radio

If you're like me and you work in an office, you probably A: get bored out of your gourd from time to time or B: need to drown out your annoying coworker's voice as she complains about politics or the latest episode of Dancing With The Stars or something. If so, you need Pandora. Its this awesome internet radio that Eric showed me. You customize your own "station" with all your favorite artists/songs and then Pandora also picks other music to play that it thinks you will like based on your preferences. You can "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" all the songs it plays. If you thumbs down something, it stops playing that track right away and plays something else. At first it might play a lot of songs you don't care for, but the more feedback you give the site, the better your station becomes. Plus, no commercials or goofy dj chatter!

For example, at first I just put Justin Timberlake and Stevie Wonder on my station. So I was getting a bunch of boy band and oldies funk songs. Which I thumbed down. Then I put in Queen, The Mamma Mia soundtrack, Billy Joel, Annie Lennox, George Michael, The Pretenders, Jason Mraz, Michael Buble, etc. Now my station is perfect! I get all kinds of random songs, but I like all of them. Sometimes I even sing at my desk when I think no one is listening. Now its my turn to annoy my coworkers!

Try it, you'll totally love it and it will make your work day go by so much faster. Once you've logged in and started your station, it will go right to it and start playing songs each time you visit Pandora too. So convenient!

Thanks for the help, now I need yours

This morning at work, I found a little note card from my boss, thanking me for the hard work I put into a certain nightmare project. Inside the card was a $10 gift card to Barnes & Noble! Of course I immediately started planning what I might spend it on, but I keep coming up blank. Which bothered me a bit because I've been so wrapped up with the Twilight series for several weeks. Maybe I'm just a little bit obsessed. Maybe I haven't given a single thought to any other books. But now I'm almost done, and OMG, I have no idea what to read next! I'm sure if I looked in my bookshelf I would find tons of things to read, and there's always Harry Potter to re-read. But am I really supposed to do that when I have a $10 gift card burning a hole in my wallet? So help a momma out and let me know if you have any good Barnes & Noble recommendations.

By the way, I totally worked my ass off for that gift card. Thanks boss!

You know what's weird?

People who don't move their arms when they walk. Just hanging all limp and still at their sides. It's creepy.

I had lunch on campus and walked by at least two students, both male, walking like that. Dude, loosen up! Swing your arms a little. Strut! Do something. It makes you look like a suicide bomber or something.

Vampire Movie

Vampire Love

I am currently reading the final book in the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn. At the beginning of the book, our young lovers, Bella & Edward get married. See, Bella wants sex and to become a vampire. In that order. Edward wants to maintain their virtue and have a lifelong commitment to each other as a married couple. So they have an Anne of Green Gables theme wedding. Bella wears a victorian style dress and one of those old-style, poofy bun updos. We're supposed to think its because Edward was born in the Victorian Era. Those of us who are LDS, like the author, know that its conveniently written that way because for some reason, many LDS girls dream about looking like Anne Shirley on their wedding day. Seriously. I've never understood it, but its true. I know two girls who wanted Anne Shirley dresses and hair for their wedding.

Anyway, so Bella & Edward get married and go off on their honeymoon! A honeymoon! Finally, some hot and heavy action, right? WRONG! It was just like I expected - just as their hearts are pounding and they're reaching for each other, the chapter ends. The next page begins with them waking up in bed together the next morning.

I want to hit Stephenie Meyer across the head with a keyboard.

Zachary Levi's Wham! Dance

On last week's episode of Best Week Ever on VH1, Zachary Levi & his Chuck co-star, Josh Gomez, did a dance to Wham! You have to fast forward til the counter says -9:05 or so, but the video loads really fast and its pretty darn funny. I knew there was a reason why I liked this guy!

Eagle Eye

I saw Eagle Eye on Sunday (thanks Kelly & Aaron for inviting me, and thanks to Eric for watching the kids so I could go). It was a pretty tense and action packed movie. In addition to eating a handful of candy, I chewed all my fingernails off. Watching my poor Shia bawl his eyes out (complete with quivering chin!), get arrested, jump off buildings, out of cars and trains, get shot at, etc was just too much for my nerves! Shia was cute (as usual) and did lots of good acting with his eyes in addition to all the running and jumping. Billy Bob Thornton was actually funny and not at all sleazy and/or gross like most of his other characters. He still has the horse teeth though. The little boy in the movie totally reminded me of Eric when he was a kid - all freckles, teeth and eyebrows. Eric didn't quite agree with me. Anyway, the movie kept me guessing up to a certain point before I had it all figured out. It was still exciting though. The car chase scenes were cut a little too quick for my taste because I could never quite follow which car had just crashed. It was all a bit blurry at that speed. All in all though, its a movie I would watch again, and not only because of my Shia crush.

"The Office" is back!

My favorite show is back! Although I wasn't rolling on the floor laughing throughout the episode, the season opener did give us several juicy storylines, including the wedding plans for Angela & Andy. Visit http://www.angelaandy.com/ for more hilarious details of the happy couple's pending nuptials!

I'm really bummed because I missed a little of the middle of the episode. Duty called to assist with the kids' potty break. I always DVR the show, but I couldn't because I was already recording Survivor & Grey's Anatomy for Eric. The sacrifices I make! From what I hear, I missed the introduction of Pam's art school friend (you can see her assignment above) and Kelly making Ryan jealous by making out with Darryl. Should I really be bummed? Were those parts super funny?

My favorite part was with Holly doing beat box back-up to Michael's rap (wiggida-wiggida-wiggida-whack!), but I also liked Angela explaining how she sleeps at night, and Michael wanting to be "goatee-less brothers" with Ryan.

Kelly Kapoor has always been my favorite character, but Holly, the new HR person is really growing on me! Being an HR person myself, I just love the way the HR reps are portrayed on this show.

P.S. Get well soon Toby!

Sephora, How I Love You!

My biggest, girliest obsession is not with clothes, purses, accessories or shoes. It's with makeup and beauty products. I love luxurious lotions and potions, lip glosses, mascara and blush. Sephora is my absolute favorite store for browsing and buying all my beauty products. I could spend hours in there just sampling and sniffing all their goodies. The best part is, no matter what size you are, beauty products always fit! Their website, http://www.sephora.com/ now includes customer reviews and their Beauty Insider (frequent user) information and specials. Someday, when I have more time, I will compile a list of my favorite beauty products. For now, I'll just list my latest favorite find.

Too Faced Lash Injection Mascara. As I get older, I am realizing that I no longer have quite the long and lush lashes of my youth. This is both frustrating and depressing, and since my previous favorite was discontinued, I was on the hunt for a mascara that helps me acheive that look without clumpy raccoon eyes. I tried the popular Bad Gal Lash and hated it. The wand was so huge, it was like trying to put on mascara with a full-size hair brush. In a moment of desperation, I picked up a mini size of Lash Injection for $8.50. I love the thick, fluttery look it gives me with no clumping. The best part is that since you're supposed to throw out your mascara every 3 months, the mini size is just enough at less than half the cost!

Dane Cook & Kate Hudson are douchebags!

Call it temporary insanity or a seriously disturbing lack in judgement, but I saw My Best Friend's Girl this weekend. I was thinking that since Kate Hudson was in it, it would be a harmless little rom com. WRONG! They should have just called the movie "Dane Cook & Kate Hudson are Douchebags". It was the most horrific, disgusting, vulgar movie I have seen in quite a long time. OMG, I wanted to rip my eyes and ears out within the first 5 minutes. I needed a boiling bleach bath to clean my soul afterwards. I heard every imaginable slang word for female genitalia, including a new one I had never heard before. So disgusting. If I wasn't so pissed about this movie, I would be speechless. It was promoted as a romantic comedy! Everyone involved in this movie should be ashamed. It's that bad.

I already thought Dane Cook was fugly and unappealing, and I should have known better that see one of his movies. I give Jason Biggs a pass because I figure he needed a paycheck and his character was fairly innocent and harmless. I'm not a Kate Hudson fan, but what the frick? Did she make this movie on a dare or lose a bet or something? What possible good reason could there be?

Even more heartbreaking to me is the fact that Alec Baldwin is in this. The guy that is geniously hysterical on SNL & 30 Rock! What the hell happened there? For shame, Alec!

I blame Kim Basinger.

Cute Boys with Dark, Curly Hair

As most of my friends know, I have a serious weakness for boys with dark, curly hair. Ever since I can remember. Dair hair is pretty much a must, but dark curly hair? Oh baby! In general, blonde dudes are not hot. Like, Brad Pitt for example? Blech. But drag out some random dude with dark curls and I am ga-ga. He could have some massive, disfiguring facial scar or a lazy eye, and I would probably still think he was hot.

My current faves are:

Shia LaBeouf. That geeky Holes kid grew up hot and came out of nowhere. My current celebrity boyfriend. Can't wait for Eagle Eye to come out this week!

Jonas Brothers. You're adorable jailbait.

Zachary Levi. I've always thought he was cute, but the recent Chuck commercials have made him relevant again. Plus, I love his t-shirt....COLEGE. Heh.

10 Things I Hate About the Twilight Series

10. Bella Swan. The main character's name is beautiful swan? Really? Really? Could that be any more cheeseball? OMG, swan's have long necks! Hey, vampires like to bite necks! Coincidence? You decide.

9. The fans that compare the author, Stephenie Meyer, to Harry Potter author, JK Rowling. You know, because they're both stay-at-home moms that suddenly just started scribbling down their idea/dream and it developed into a whole series of fantasy novels. Please don't compare Stephenie Meyer's books to JK Rowling's. Not even in the same league. You guys, just....no. Don't do it.

8. All the moodiness. Ok, so one might argue that Bella Swan is a teenager. Teenagers are moody. I get it. I was a moody teenager once too. Dude, even when I was a moody teenager, I still did more than just whining, sulking, muttering, glowering, glaring, and storming off in a huff all the time. From time to time I actually experienced happiness and cracked the occassional smile. Despite my incredible angst, I definitely wouldn't have thrown a bitch fit if my twu wuv boyfriend took me to the prom.

7. All the damsel in distress crap. As a fairly clumsy, non-athletic, accident prone person myself, I take particular offense to the idea of a girl being constantly rescued and protected by her big, strong man. Like she's incapable of taking care of herself. Is that really the kind of message that we want to send to young girls? That we all need a knight in shining armor to sweep us up off our weak ankles? That the only skill, interest, or hobby we need to have is to be a good cook so we can slave in the kitchen for our man? Vampires don't even eat food. They drink blood. Gross.

6. Sparkly vampires? You mean, like, glittery? Like diamond encrusted? That kind of sparkly? Sparkly vampires? Ok, if you say so.

5. With the sparkling, comes all the dazzling. With Edward's eyes, with his face, with his personality and the electric current of superiority that he exudes. He's perfect in every possible way. She's not worthy because he's just so damned glorious. He's just really, really ridiculously good looking. He dazzles. All the time. Yawn.

4. I can't fricking stop reading these piles of crap! I liked Twilight for the first 200 or so pages. I'll admit it. I liked Bella and her snarky attitude. She seemed to have some moxie. Somewhere between page 200-300 it all changed and went downhill rapidly from there. They're long (500-600 pages. I'm on book 3 and there are still two more to read! Guh! I spend at least an hour a day reading these books. Why? Have I no sense? No will power? What is wrong with me?

3. I actually paid money for the first two books. Stephenie Meyer is profiting my hard earned money. Lesson learned, and from now on I will check them out from the library. I refuse to spend any more on this crap. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm totally going to see the movie. Probably at full price on opening weekend. See? No will power.

2. Imprinting. I just got to the part about imprinting. I hate to spoiler anything, but in this case its a bit impossible.....so imprinting basically involves a werewolf staring into a girls eyes and (poof!) suddenly they are in love. Like love at first sight. Like a cosmic bond, you might say. Only it doesn't matter how old the girl is. This can happen even with toddlers. That's right, toddlers. What the....? That is just messed up.

1. This is a romance novel. The sappy sweet, Harlequin type. I'm not a Harlequin fan, but I have read a few. The good thing about a Harlequin novel is you know what you're going to get. You know by page 40, someone is going to get naked. Then it gets progressively steamy from there. Not so much with these books. You get a significant amount of heart pounding, hand holding, face stroking, and meaningful gazes into each others eyes. I can count the few very chaste (peck) kisses one one hand. There's no sex, people. None! 500+ pages of flowery, romantic descriptions of how in love they are, and no one has the slightest urge to do more than peck? Wow, that's exciting. I keep hearing rumors about some sort of horrific birthing scene that must be coming up, so I imagine someone has to get it on at some point. But I bet the author manages to mess that up and end the chapter before getting to the good stuff. "And then they woke up in bed together the next morning." Yeah, I be she does something lame like that.

Work Sucks

Basically, I have a pretty good job. I have my own office and even have somewhat of an admin assistant that helps me from time to time. The pay isn't great, but the benefits are awesome and I live less than 5 miles away. Its not bad. But lately the office politics and bureaucratic red tape have reached colossal proportions. I'm swamped and the workload keeps building while we cut back on staff. Considering the economy, I'm grateful for my job, really I am. Its stable and I like what I do. I just preferred it when the environment wasn't quite so....intense. And maybe when the piles on my desk were less than 6 inches high.

Still, there are things to be thankful for. Like, thank goodness I'm not a prison guard, or Michael Jackson's makeup artist, or.....a proctologist.